Teaching White Guys To Pimp Accordingly Since ... Now
So Why Haven't More White Guys Been Pimps Without Gub'ment Intervention?
I knew this would come up. I don't think it's racism, but black pimps have told me that most white guys genetically lack the charisma necessary to be pimps. Obviously I made it so you can too. It may just take some extra work.
Why Is Pimpin' Illegal?
No one knows. In all of the old movies they have ho's and there can't be ho's without pimps. The mayor, the sheriff -- everybody hung out with the ho's. Look at James Arness in "Gunsmoke" -- he was always with a ho -- and he was the first guy off the boat at Anzio!! So if American war heroes can hang out with ho's, you can too. Somewhere between "Gunsmoke" and today pimpin' became illegal, even in Massachusetts.
Why Do Ho's Need A Pimp?
Why does the sun come up? It's a mutual relationship. Ho's need a business manager and there's nobody better than a pimp. If pimps had been running Enron the company would still show no earnings but the investors would all be wearing 'Gators and diamond-rimmed sunglasses.
Was Huggy Bear A Pimp?
No. He was an actor, like Tupac.
Is Pimpin' An Older Profession Than Ho'in?
If ho'in is the world's oldest profession, pimpin' must surely be the second oldest. The Bible makes ample references to ho'in and also alludes to pimps. "Do not ho out thy daughter, to cause her to be a ho, lest the land fall to ho'dom, and the land become full of wickedness," warns Leviticus 19:29. See? Even that Leviticus guy was a pimp. And if the Bible tells you so, pimpin' must be okay.
President Bill Clinton  I think we all agree he is the Cracker Mack Daddy of Pimpdom. He would rate a 10 but I think we all agree when I am the Pimpiest Leader of the Free World my Ho will be a lot hotter than that fat white girl. |
posted by Chief Scientist at 1:36 PM
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